Hey everyone!
It's no secret that I like to work out. Well, OK, truthfully I hate working out but I'm always glad I did afterwards....isn't that what it's like for most (sane) people anyway? While I work out I like to listen to motivational speakers and most of the time the speech is accompanied by a sports montage which doesn't bother me at all. Now as much as I love able bodied sports I'm, of course, drawn to Paralympic sports because I see myself in those athletes more then those athletes in able bodied sports. Personally I love, love, love it when people make montages of Paralympic sports and add a motivational speech because it's often done in a way that isn't singling us out or idolizing us. It's showing us as the athletes we are and they have a motivational speaker in the background just as they do for Olympic and other sport montages. It's a normal thing to see on YouTube.
But what does bother me is when the see videos that have this slogan in the description, at the beginning, in the title, or in the comments- "When you're down, watch this!". Then proceeds to show a video of people who are "disabled" (I hate using that word) doing sports or living life. People are comparing their lives to ours in ways such as "Oh my man well I was having a bad day but my life isn't as bad as theirs! I am so blessed that I'm not in a wheelchair". As if having a disability is the worse possible thing. I don't want y'all to do that. My life with my disability is hard, yes, but I'm 100% sure that there is something going on in your life that isn't easy and that you wish you didn't have to deal with. I understand when some people look at others who have a disability they think "I'd be pissed off if that was my life". And sure sometimes I am too..however you are still thinking that being in a wheelchair or any other disability is the worse thing that could be going on. Sure my problems may be more apparent, but actually my disability isn't the worse in my life either. I have other stuff that I would change way before I would ask not to have Charcot Marie Tooth.
People with disabilities don't see their lives are exceptional. At least not me. I'm honestly not doing anything out of the ordinary then other teenagers. Honestly what I do most of the day during the summer is as followers- get up, eat, check all my social media and emails, blog or write something else, listen to music, watch TV, and then exercise. Sometimes I'll go out to the mall and movies with my friends. But I'm not doing anything different then most teenagers except I do it all sitting down or with the aid of my leg braces. Most people who are living with a disability don't want or feel like they should be subject as inspiration.
Again, most of the time when we are being called inspirations it is from people who are really really kind and sweet and do mean it. I don't so much mind that. That's meant in a positive way. What I do mind is when I see pictures like this on the internet while I'm scrolling through workout inspiration-
(for those who can't see, the girl has prosthetic legs) That my friends is called inspiration porn. A picture or a quote that is used to make others feel good about themselves because they don't have "as a life as that person over there who is in a wheelchair or has a disability so that persons life must be horrid.". This is negative. We don't want you to look down on us as if we are something to be pitied or something to compare your lives to when you think yours is horrible. That's not why we're here. These types of posts make me angry, but most of all they make me sad because I think " is this is how people see me when I go to the gym? Or when I go to the store? Or when I go to the movies?". I'm living a full life. Yeah at times it isn't fun but that is the same for anybody, regardless if they have a disability or not.
This isn't to say that people with disabilities don't need help at times. We do need to have access to ramps and handicap parking and stalls in the bathroom. This post is to say that the way we are looked at needs to change. Personally I don't have a problem with someone asking me if I need help if it looks like I'm physically having a hard time since that's what most people would ask an abled bodied person. What I do want to change is a scenario like so:
I'm grabbing a box of cereal off the shelf and someone asks if I need help when it's clear that-
- I have it in my hand....I don't need help getting it into my shopping cart
- I haven't even tried to grab the box off the shelf yet
- They keep pestering me about it even after I say "No thanks, I've got it. But thank you!" with a smile.
Now this post isn't just a rant or a bully post. I totally understand that when people usually say "you're so brave" or "you're an inspiration" that they mean it with the kindness of their hearts and that makes me smile. This post isn't meant to offend or critique or rant. This is meant to be an eye opener. I know it's hard to change the way you think, especially if you've been in a mindset for a long time, but if you can try that is all I ask. Try to look at the disabled community as people who are just living life a bit different then you. Not as an inspiration. Going to the grocery store or working as a doctor while in a wheelchair or having another disability shouldn't be a surprise or anything out the ordinary.
It's up to the disabled community to spread awareness that we are people and we are just living a life that looks a bit difficult. We need to be open and thankful that we get the chance to educate.
XOXO,
Dana
Facebook link- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Here-I-Am-On-My-Way/1438109616460397?ref=hl
Stella Young video-
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